Attitude

You know....an attitude is a strange thing.... my attitude is like the hulk. you wont like me when I'm mad.
I let my attitude dictate the way i handled situations. You cant let others offend you. HA! easier said than done. some of us live for the moments where we can cuss somebody out on the freeway or cut our eyes at someone. Even though it may feel good for that momentary release, you never know what others are going through.  Our attitudes can be in all diffrent sizes, you many be the silent blow up type.Your attitude might be out loud and everyone knows it. Or it could be more subdued and quiet...




No matter what type, if its not positive then its not productive. I have recently had an attitude because a situation in my life isn't going the speed i want it to. So of course I had an attitude, But i have learned that if you let people dictate your attitude you will forever be in bondage. In example: A relationship whether its a friendship or a couple requires the work of 2 people, its a 2 way street. Give and take. It cant be one sided. BUT if the other person isn't contributing to the friendship you cant allow that to dictate your mood. CLEARLY its not dictating theirs! Leave it alone and move on.

MOVING ON.
 This is one of the hardest things about having an attitude. It seems like the situation cant be moved past unless u just express everything you feel. Women especially do this but expressing isn't wrong, we just don't have to express EVERYTHING EVERY TIME! Its good to let things just play out. I have personally taken a conscious effort to leave things alone in my life. Not saying I'm not going to voice my opinions but I'm not going to try and CONTROL my situation. Too much time and too much energy. Ive come to the crossroads that I'm either going to live stuck in the past or move to the future.

FUTURE.
My pastor, Dr. Chris Esteves, said something so profound last Sunday and it really helped me to change my perspective on something. He said:

YOU CANT CHANGE YOUR SITUATION UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE, AND YOU CANT CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.

I was so amazed because all this time i couldn't see why my situation wasn't changing until i realized it was my attitude that was allowing it to be UNCHANGED.

Like i always say this is easier said than done for some of us. But what you can do is make a conscious effort to hold your tongue. Say something positive than negative, or don't say anything at all. I'm NOT saying keep quiet or subdued because we know Alyssa wouldn't be typing this otherwise :p but you can control your attitude mouth and temper!!

Passion

Passion. n..
1. Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling as love or hate. 2. strong amourous feeling or desire;love;ardor 3. strong sexual desire; lust

Passion is how we have the homes we live in- someone who had a passion for architecture. Passion is the food we eat- someone who had a passion for flavor. Passion is the books we read- someone had a passion for imagination.

But somewhere along the way passion became known as dedication.

Dedication. n.
1. the act of dedicating. 2.to devote wholly and earnestly, as to some person or purpose. 3.to set aside for or assign to a specific function, task, or purpose.

In America it seems to me that the goal is to find a passion and work that passion to death. Squeeze every last dollar and possible penny out of that passion. Manipulate it to multiply. Stretch it thin enough to reach everyone but thick enough to make it still look like its something you want to do. Passion has become dedication.
Dedication to money. Dedication to mass quantity. Don't get me wrong, yes we all need clothes and shoes and homes to live in, as well as food and with out mass quantities we would all be screwed, but the difference I'm talking about is commercializing it. As we can see in history that if you make your dreams into a reality any thing can happen. I.e. Bill Gates, Julia Childs, Lucille Ball, Albert Einstein, Judy Garland, Thomas Edison. The difference with these people is they started with their passion and then the riches of reality came, because they stayed true to their passion first.

I like writing. I like fashion. I choose to write when i want to. Writing is a passion of mine but no, i am not a Journalism major. I like fashion. I have enough clothes shoes and make up to dress 2 other girls for all seasons of the year plus myself. I am in fashion shows and photoshoots, but no, i am not going to FIDM or a dress maker- And that's OK.I choose to keep my passions closely intact until i decide what i want to do with them. The point is keeping your passion still YOUR passion.

An interesting friend of mine decided not to go to college. He decided not to go because what he wanted to do did not require college. I was baffled. For someone to deliberately not go to college or want to go confused me. But then he said college is not for everyone and life is about doing what you love, not working for someone else. I respect that so much more than just jumping into something because its what everyone else is doing or it seems the fastest route to success. I don't know about all of you but my success and increase come from God not man.

Lets not be dumb and misconstrue the whole meaning. Yes we need a job. Yes we do jobs we don't like. No you are not a failure for working for "the man", but what would be a shame is never finding what you love to do. so lets find your passion.

Go back up to the top and look at the definition. What things that you do or want to do that fit that description?
Take that list, go out and do those possible passions. Which ones did you like doing the most? (your list doesn't have to be narrowed down to a few)
Now which ones do you feel fulfilled in?
Your passions can be all sorts of things. Things that don't make sense or go together (nothing that harms someone else either genius!)
My passions include: Cooking, writing, public speaking, making people laugh, fashion styling, and reading.
very eclectic but yet very me.

Your passion does not have to be something where u quit your job and decide to dedicate all time and money and you end up homeless on the street. use common sense. But do your passions when you have time, find what your passions are if you don't know yet, but do something for you.

God gave us passion to remind us of the purpose he put us here for. Passion is only the first step. I'm currently trying to figure out which direction to go into next. Ive got my passion(s) but now what?I'm determined to make my mark in the world, for me. Not for anyone else.
My family has been going through some hardships and one of the greatest lessons i have learned is staying true to yourself. Yes we change, grow, and focus on other things but coming back to the basics and remembering to love and make our passion a reality is also key. So here i am. imploring you to not make the same mistakes i made and might still make in life. if you get off track. its OK, just find your center and give it another go!

They wanted to see how long until i said "Fuck it" well you know what.... FUCK IT

the first blog i had was great. cute is more like it. i said how i was feeling, who was helping me get through and how things were going. Who wants to read that?! Not me for one.
 I watched Harriet The Spy the other day, which used to be one of my favorite movies as a little girl- I'm currently inspired. Not to mention the fact that i let 2  men into my heart and now I've ended up possibly losing them both, have become 4 pounds lighter and hours of sleepless days later have come to realize... I need to write.
Not write and put people on blast, don't worry your names will be PROTECTED, but write and give my insight into what happens with my life experiences. My best friend told me that my life should be a reality show because some of the things that happen to me are too unreal to believe... Thanks Maham.
I keep my emotions and thoughts to myself alot, and they end up spilling out of me in little bits and pieces, the end result being a bewildered stare from the person I'm talking to. So i think this will be easier since i get overloaded quite alot these days.

So lets get something straight:
1) I am responsible for everything i put on here. Your the one reading... You don't like it, throw your computer out the window.
2) I am a Christian, but that doesn't mean i don't have my struggles. Scripture says to be Christ-MINDED. well....my mind wanders..alot. Jesus knows my heart and everyday I'm working on being a better person, but that doesn't mean u cant still get caught up sometimes.
3) Life is funny.

SOOO..... now that we have the ground rules established lets talk about me! That's why were here after all... were not discussing politics or the latest fashion trend. unless i see a "faux-pau" from some idiot walking down the street, which is quite often actually...
Anyway! focus! i dress according to how i feel. I cleaned out my closet one day and i must have been feeling pretty down bc all i left was blacks browns beige's and creams... a light precipitation of color slipped by.. So I'm currently rebuilding the color sector of Ground Zero Fashion Closet. Today i am wearing neutrals, why? GOOD JOB BOYS AND GIRLS! I FEEL-neutral.
Poop is a better explanation.
Lack of sleep from a horrible dream (we will not talk of) and not being able to keep anything in my tummy too much.
Why am i in this current state?
Bc i feel Neutral... lack of sleep has me irritable, period soon to start so I'm cranky, sad bc i messed up my social aspect so that cancels out the cranky and thankful i woke up today so thankful and irritable cancel each other out which= Neutral.

So the recent lesson of the month seems to be Self-Control and Patience.
I speak my mind which is very good and very bad. I'm always going to tell u how i feel but then i also sometimes share too much. By encountering someone from another country it has helped me see how I am as a person. I see alot of things that others don't BUT from my recent events i have learned that sharing everything isn't always the best. Sometimes thinking a situation through and truly exploring whats best for u can be the best option. I didn't do that. I decided to be noble and throw my feelings on the floor and hoped they landed where they were supposed to.  Being adult and handling the situation maturely instead of letting it spiral out of control should be how we handle things.
(But then there would be no such thing as reality TV right?)
In life we cant go through using and abusing things because we think its ok and noble. Be smart. My cousin told me you should never allow 2 men into your heart at the same time. You also cant help who you fall in love with.
Point is once u make your bed now you have to lie in it, so u could either "spread your bed nicely" like my dad says or just throw everything on the bed and pray it will smooth things out eventually. Either way don't do it haphazardly. Yes your emotions will drive you Nutz! LOOK AT ME! but rational thinking is the best route to go. I'm not taking back anything i said to anyone but if i could have gone about some of the situations in my life differently. I would.
The funny thing about being honest is it doesn't matter how much u can pour your soul to someone or tell them when u hate a white polo that they wear, or say that someones friend is using them. Once you LIE, it all goes out the window. My Dad tells me that your word is all you have. And he is right. Keep your word with others, if you mess up and they forgive u learn from that mistake the first time, don't ask for a repeat.
My mother tells me learn from her experiences so i don't have to make the same ones and I'm saying the same to u.
THINK AND THEN ACT.
Love as though you have never loved before, be honest and true, and don't let others actions dictate your future.